When people talk about chosen family during Pride Month, they often describe the people who welcomed them after they had been rejected. I understand that story. It matters. Yet when I think about chosen family, I think about something else.

I think about the people who left with us.

When I was forced out of Youth With A Mission (YWAM) because of my sexuality and my support for 2SLGBTQIA+ inclusion, many people faced difficult choices. The person who paid the highest price was my wife. Kim could have stayed. She had her own relationships, ministry, history, and future within the organization. Remaining would have been easier in many ways. Instead, she chose me. She chose us. She chose to stand with the vulnerable.

Colleagues around the world made similar decisions. They walked away from relationships, opportunities, and communities that mattered deeply to them. Nobody required them to do that. Nobody expected it. They simply decided that what was happening mattered enough to affect their own choices. Looking back, I think that was one of the clearest expressions of kinship I have ever experienced.

I have seen that same spirit in Little Flowers and throughout the wider 2SLGBTQIA+ community. Chosen family is not simply about finding people who accept us. It is about people who bind their lives to ours. People who stay when things become difficult. People who carry burdens that are not technically theirs to carry. People who understand that belonging is something we build together.

The older I get, the more convinced I become that chosen family is one of the great gifts of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. It reminds us that kinship is not something we inherit. It is something we practice. Sometimes that practice means welcoming people who have been pushed out. Sometimes it means being willing to walk out with them.